We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
