White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
