apparently the secret to your success is patron
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize