Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
