wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Drunk is a universal language darling
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