Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize