and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
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