if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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