WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize