You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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