How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
