But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
