I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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