That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
