My hand turned me down
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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