Whod you bang
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
