For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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