SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
