Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This is the high leading the old right now
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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