The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
