I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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