can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
