oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think your dad took our porno
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize