this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My vagina is officially offended.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
