toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
