remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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