Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
