I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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