i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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