Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
