have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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