Your face is a jimmy john
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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