Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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