I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
