She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
