Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
