making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My penis needs a shock collar
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
