This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
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Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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