His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
