3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Yo dont text me then not text me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
