My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
