ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
