If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom said you looked used
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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