I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What a dumb baby whore.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
