Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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