I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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