dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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