yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
