I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
