Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
