Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
No stitches, just platelets and will power
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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