sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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