Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
