She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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