If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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