It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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