Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize