You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
