"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
