I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
